


Catharsis

by UnicornAttack



Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, references to murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:18:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornAttack/pseuds/UnicornAttack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James has his problems, Q's got his own. Follow up to 'The Replacement'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catharsis

Some nights, he still dreams about it. It's like he's five years old again - he can feel the wet tarmac and concrete and grass beneath his bare feet, the sharp chill of the January air that stung his cheeks and hands. And he can hear his mother's voice echoing in his ears: get out, get next door, tell Mrs Holmes to call the police, do it now...and then they fade into silence as he claws his way back into reality. And all of a sudden he's lying on his bed next to a still-sleeping Felix, sweat congealing on his forehead.  
One damp morning in early March, Q is woken at four a.m. by the nightmare. It's as vivid as ever, and he feels vaguely nauseous. Felix is snoring gently next to him; outside, rain spatters against the window. After lying where he is for a few minutes Q resolves to get out of bed. He makes his way through to the kitchen, where he fills the kettle and leaves it to boil.  
"Good morning," says a smooth voice behind him.  
Q whirls around, almost dropping the mug he's holding.  
"Bond, you bastard," he snaps. "What the hell are you doing here?"  
"I came to see you. In private."  
"Why can't this be done at work?"  
"Because I want to see you in private."  
Q purses his lips disapprovingly, a gesture he learned from his grandmother (who disapproved of an awful lot of things), but says nothing.  
"I found your file," Bond continues. "I had no idea your first name was Kurt."  
"People call me Matthew," Q counters, somewhat lamely.  
"Well, Matthew, I'm terribly sorry about your parents."  
"Don't," Q says. He can feel the anger rising up inside him, threatening to boil over; how dare Bond talk about his parents? He doesn't care if it's Bond. Not even Felix (and Felix definitely knows) talks about Q's parents.  
"If it's any consolation, I lost my parents too," Bond offers.  
"Was your father a violent, abusive bastard who beat you and your mother? Did he shoot your mother, for that matter? Did he get shot in the head by a police officer?"  
Bond stays quiet, his expression unreadable.  
"No need to be truculent," he says eventually. Q scoffs and shakes his head.  
"Jesus Christ, Bond. You break into my flat at four o'clock in the morning, scare the living daylights out of me in a darkened room, probe me about my personal life and expect me to - "  
"Why didn't you ask me?" Bond breaks in.  
"What?"  
"Come on. Practically everyone in MI6 knows about it. Tanner's accused you of acting like a dewy-eyed schoolgirl fawning over some attractive teacher."  
There's a pause, and Q is stuck somewhere between laughing and screaming at Bond to get out.  
"You broke into my flat at four a.m. to ask me out on a date?" he says quietly.  
"Well, when you say it like that - "  
"Matthew, what's going on?"  
Q winces as reality catches up with him. Felix is awake. He hears footsteps outside, and the kitchen door swings open.  
"Who's he?" Felix asks, looking from Bond to Q.  
"Someone from work."  
"What's he doing in - "  
"My flat at four a.m.? Good question."  
"I wanted to see Matthew in private," Bond replies quickly. "Rather secretive stuff."  
"So what do you want me to do?" Felix asks rhetorically, a note of resentment creeping into his voice (somewhat unsurprisingly). "Put my hands over my ears?"  
"Look, maybe you should go back to bed," Q offers. The last thing he wants is a fight breaking out between his boyfriend and the man he actually wants to be his boyfriend. Felix studies Bond suspiciously before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Neither Bond nor Q starts talking again until they've heard the bedroom door up the hallway shut as well.  
"So you're saying that everyone in MI6 is laughing at me behind my back because I supposedly have a crush on you?" Q snaps. "Is that it, Bond?"  
"I never said that. I said it's so blindingly obvious it's painful. Unfortunately, you seem to be taken."  
Q swallows. Unfortunately? Does that mean...? No, stop that, for god's sake. Q's a grown man, not a teenage girl, despite Tanner's rather stupid joke.  
"It's not really that serious," he says. "I mean, we're not...it's still rather casual."  
"Right."  
There's another pause, filled with the sound of the falling rain outside, which sounds as if it's getting heavier by the minute. Bond stands up straight and walks across the kitchen to Q, cupping his face in his hands.  
"I've never seen you without your glasses before," he muses.  
"What do you think?"  
"I think it suits you."  
They kiss, and it's a little clumsy and awkward, which is only natural. It only lasts for a few seconds before Bond pulls away. Q feels slightly giddy. Bond moves away slightly and leans against one of the kitchen counters.  
"Your parents," he says, "how often do you think about them?"  
Q closes his eyes and sighs.  
"All the time," he murmurs.  
"You were only five."  
"Yeah."  
"But you never saw it happen."  
Q opens his eyes again and looks at Bond.  
"Where is this going, 007?"  
"Catharsis. A chance to let it out."  
"Or are you simply projecting?"  
Bond smiles wryly.  
"Perhaps."


End file.
